fffcuk:

today this girl asked me if we were hiring and we are but i told her we weren’t because right now im the prettiest girl that works here and if she got hired i wouldn’t be anymore

September  23 520407

england:

france:

hi im here to colonize *points at canada* thats mine

haha about that,

veup:

before tumblr i never knew there were so many things to be offended about

things that have no chill

torobabe:

-me

-automatic toilets

-people who clap when the plane lands

negritaaa:

TSA: are u carrying any firearms or explosives?

Me: *points to crotch* u mean this bomb pussy?

TSA: why do u always do this?

blackyrider:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

THIS IS NOT A GOOD BOX HUMAN
SAVE ME FROM THE BOX

I TRIED TO SITS BUT IT DIDN’T FITS

blackyrider:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

THIS IS NOT A GOOD BOX HUMAN

SAVE ME FROM THE BOX

I TRIED TO SITS BUT IT DIDN’T FITS

katbas:

man expanded his dong on the bus

katbas:

man expanded his dong on the bus

pennylessproud:

when the teacher comes around to collect your homework